


Papa

by Dayzaya



Series: Family [1]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Eventual Relationships, M/M, SHIZUO TAKING CARE OF A CUTE BABY, Sexual Tension, Shizaya - Freeform, Smut, baby rubi!, but really, future shizaya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-21
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-05-15 06:12:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 14,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5774500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dayzaya/pseuds/Dayzaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shizuo is given responsibility of taking care of a child. Izaya decides to help, all the while rousing feelings from Shizuo.</p><p>「Shizuo's still confused, still finds himself half awake, half asleep. Lays back and blinks, <em>once twice</em>, Izaya is in bed with him. Rubi's there, pressed onto his side as a reminder not to <em>flip the fucking bed over</em>, not to grab at Izaya and break his neck. There's a hand on his chest, and Shizuo's blinking when the lights are somehow <em>off</em>-- somehow, in the midst of Izaya coming over into the bed and dragging the sheets over his chest and their bodies so it's warm, and Rubi's making soft breathing sounds that Shizuo can't help <em>but</em> feel a bit more content than he was five seconds ago.」</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For my friend on tumblr, I-detest-violence-dammit!  
> Should really stop writing things, but I'm full of ideas!

       A wail fills the air, repetition of the past three weeks. The cries loud, sharp and breathing ragged between hiccups and shrieks. A blond curls in his sheets, tangles his hands in his hair- desperation and eyes flickering widely. He's tired- not exactly angry but weary. His teeth clamp into his cheek, iron and liquid red spilling onto his tongue. Swallows thickly several times and finds himself sitting upwards, sweeping the sheets of his form.

Bare feet touch cool floors, sluggish and dragging as he nears the sobbing. He leaves his bedroom, and Shizuo shoves open a another door. He can't sleep, not when there's a pair of small arms waving and fleshy cheeks flushed pink and streaked in tears. Shizuo breathes in, slowly. Moving closer to the sound, the infant's eyes squeezed shut and pacifier lolled to the side.

      His eyes barely keep open, fingers pinched the end of his forehead to still the thoughts and frustrations that bud forward. "Shhh." A soft voice, Shizuo reaches into the small crib, lifting the infant from the small caged home. Gentle in his touch, the same that could rip apart a city, the blond presses his mouth against a heated forehead. One hand grasping a small back, another against the back of a head- shudders and gasps escaping the poor three week old. He rocks the child, offers more shushes and gentle kisses.

       The baby still wails, until Shizuo strides to the kitchen, rubbing the back and makes a bottle of warm milk. He's blinking to keep himself up, voice nothing more than a mumble as he waits a moment for the bottle to cool. He can't feel the intense heat, but knows from a mistake prior- that he should wait at least a minute before attempting to bottle feed the child. As he waits, checks the diaper and notes to change it.

      Even so, the baby is still sobbing. A clean diaper doesn't help; but when the bottle's teat presses against a mouth, the baby silences, hiccups as it drinks and wraps one hand around a finger that holds the bottle. Shizuo sighs, moves back to his bedroom. Sits on his bed and presses his back against the headboard, keeping the baby wrapped in his arms. " 'Stis better...?" He asks, as if the infant could answer. Instead, bright eyes peer back at him and Shizuo smiles tiredly. "Yeah..."

As the bottle is half drained, a back patted to ease the gas building up- Shizuo closes his eyes, exhausted. Sleep dragging him down, but he holds it off until the small human in his arms drifts back into sleep.

       "Night.." Murmured gentle, as sleep is finally welcomed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't tell me I'm the only one who's ever thought of Shizuo being a single dad. Haha, everything's a bit slow paced but it's because if I write too much, it becomes shit. And I sorta like short and sweet. Mm? Anyways, thank you for the comment! I WILL KEEP WRITING.  
> Next chapter should include a bit of Shizaya. If you squint.

      Shizuo wakes up to more cries. His chest is wet, the scent of urine too present in the air and he shudders. Eyes flicker downwards, the baby shaking his arms and hiccuping. Shizuo winces, sits up and notices that he only slept for three hours. But there is no point to it, he has work-- and work will make him move. So Shizuo groans, and gets to start his day. Another wiff of the air, and the blond grumbles beneath his breath as he rips his shirt off, the baby cradled in one arm. He needs to change the diaper. Fast. Because it wasn't Izaya he smelt.

* * *

 

      Later proves to be much longer than he suspects it. Shizuo managed to quickly shower during the morning, after another shitty diaper and another shirt tossed to the growing laundry because vomit doesn't suit well for him. The blond sends a text to Celty, knowing full well he could trust her with the small human he came to love. Three weeks prior, an incident left him with the child; someone from his mother's side, someone who couldn't reach his parents so dropped their child off with him and now Shizuo doesn't--can't leave the kid. No matter how stressful it is to wake up each morning, and paying for baby formula means skipping out on buying cigarettes and his favorite milk- sometimes sweets. But as long as the kid got feed, he was content.

      Celty comes faster than Shizuo expects, and he holds up the carrier with the sleeping child. The woman takes the carrier, does something that shifts her bike into being able to hold the child. There's tapping, and then Shizuo blinks- eyes squinting when her message is apparent.

[You okay?]

     "Tired." Shizuo admits, digs into his pocket, realizes that he has no cigarettes- before smiling sheepishly. "Will you be okay with watching Rubi until I get off?'" As soon as he asks, there's sniffling and the newborn dubbed Rubi begans to makes whines. Soft cooes that would evolve into loud screeches that hurt ears but Shizuo reacts instantly, jerks forward and his fingers brush against tufts of brown hair; smiling softly when a small, soft hand clutches his fingers and silence follows despite the sniffling as soon as a pacifier is popped back into a awaiting mouth. Rubi's being lured to sleep when Shizuo bends over, kisses his not really- but almost- son. Celty's helmet cocks to one side, fingers moving over her PDA.

    [I'll keep a close eye on him. Don't worry!]  
She doesn't add how cute they look. Shizuo still smiling fondly at Rubi, watching the pacifier move every minute before it stills completely and Shizuo releases a sigh, heavy and brown eyes are shielded by blue shades.

     "Thanks." He's use to this routine. Celty coming over to pick up Rubi, watch the child--unless she has work than sometimes he asks Kadota. Sometimes Shizuo doesn't have work, so he stays home and embraces his new lifestyle of a father like figure. Tries to tone down his anger-- and it's easier when he's at home knowing that any moment he snaps maybe Rubi would wake up screeching like a banshee that makes ears ring. Celty nods, hops onto her bike before another message of: [See you later!] is sent his way and the headless woman rides off.  
       His heart aches, in this strange way. He doesn't understand it, but after a week of struggling with a infant in his home- Shizuo finds it's a bit odd to watch Rubi leave his home. His presence; makes him a bit anxious. But Shizuo has to work- if not. He can't buy more diapers and formula and clothes. So he sucks it up; and turns. Locks his door and heads to work.


	3. Chapter 3

       Tom greets him. The sun is hot-- and the wind blows so Shizuo counts it as a good day. With a gruff response to his boss, sleep is still there. Behind his eyes and a yawn catches in his throat when they start walking. He should sleep more, Tom points it out. Not to be mean, but just a comment that ebbs away at his patience. Shizuo nods, doesn't bother to honestly respond because he still wants to yawn and feet feel heavy as he walks but after the first rage filled incident where his self-restraint dwindles to nothing and suddenly the excuses of woman and being in love just fly pass his head, and Shizuo grabs the man; shakes him while sneering something he can't remember because fuck it.

By the time lunch trickles in, accidents are up to five and Shizuo's more frustrated and tired than he was before. Tom looks over at him, raising both brows as they seat themselves in a cafe. Shizuo's aching for a smoke; but remembers he has none so instead opts for something more bitter than sweet. He needs to wake himself up, so coffee would do.

      "How's Rubi?" Tom asks, watching Shizuo send a text to someone- probably the one who was watching the infant before giving attention to his own meal. Shizuo glances upwards, sunglasses tucked into his vest because he rather see than have the warmth of coffee steam up his lens.

       "Fine," fine for a baby who cries every night. But that's how it was. Crying, shitting, sleeping. Shizuo can't help but smile fondly, scratching at his head when Tom chuckles beneath his breath and comments about how _"Honestly, never thought I would see the day you having a kid, Shizuo."_ which only serves to cause a red hue flood to the blond's cheeks. "Yeah, well.." Shizuo begins, sipping his drink and inwardly shuddering since the taste isn't what he likes but has to grit and bare for. "It's different."

Different because Shizuo's different-- because everything he does, he has to make sure that what he does won't affect Rubi. Nor would it make it more difficult to live in his already shitty home. Tom nods.  
        "Of course."

* * *

 

       The smell of shit is heavily permeated throughout the air, and Shizuo counts it as the Flea, who then decides to show his face the moment he lets off work. A somewhat blissful day turned miserable just as Izaya steps infront of him, coat shifting in the wind. A smile turned malicious before the lithe forms twists to give Shizuo all attention that runs through deep like fire and soon a hiss of Izaya's name leaves clenched teeth before a innocent sign becomes deadly weapon.

The chase ends just as fast as it begins, when Shizuo's phone vibrates-- then rings so he _knows_ it's time to pick up Rubi and head home, relax and finally eat something. When the rage shimmers down, Izaya's facing him again. That damned mouth turned upwards and then arms are wrapping around his neck, lips teasing his jawline.

        "Aw~ Shizu-chan~ I had so much fun." Izaya's voice; smooth yet tinged in something that Shizuo doesn't bother to care for. He's known Izaya for years- easily picks up on things no one else probably would because he _hates_ Izaya-- but their game is falling. Izaya knows this, so acts out in ways to get under the brute's skin, only to be pushed aside with a disgusted glare and ignored as Shizuo moves away.  
             As he does now.

     When Izaya is forcibly detached from his favorite playtoy, he makes a show of a pout. "No more? Eh, ever since that kid's came along, you've been so different." Izaya tilts his head; Shizuo doesn't react, too busy with figuring out where the fuck he was before he leaves, a gruff- "Stay outta 'Bukuro, Flea." leaving his throat and he's gone-- leaving a slightly annoyed, if not highly amused informant.

* * *

 

Rubi's back in his arms. Shinra yammering about how "pleasant" Rubi is, despite the crying and apparently he has a fever that only makes Shizuo a bit angry-- at himself. But simply nods, takes what is given to him and then home. Home was pleasant, sweet and after lifting a cranky baby from the carrier, Shizuo sits himself on the couch. He places Rubi onto his chest, sighing when the infant gurgles and spits, but other wise no sign of a fever is in plain sight. Rubbing the others back slowly, Shizuo tucks one arm beneath his head as soon as he turns the television on.

          ...His peace broken, as soon as there's a stench of baby formula being brought up onto his shirt becames _very_ apparent in the air.

"...There goes another one.." He mumbles, glancing upwards with a blank expression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT CHAPTER. RUBI WOULD BE AT ALL-- MM. THREE MONTHS.


	4. Chapter 4

       "Rubi.." A playful call of the three month's old as Shizuo reached down into the crib and pulled the infant upwards. Rubi looks upwards, bright eyes wide as his head tilts backwards before his forehead bumps against a warm chest and Shizuo's hand cups the back of his son's--the idea makes him so happy, he can't help but grin, back and he turns. "Did'ya sleep good?" He heard somewhere that talking to the baby as it grows helps them understand words and comes up with their own sentences. So Shizuo tries to talk, saying everything he does and Rubi watches him with large oddly pink colored eyes and there's a toothless, gummy smile that Shizuo can't help but beam back.

Rubi has this cute tick where he hears Shizuo talk, and begins to bounce. Excited and begins to babble nonsense that makes Shizuo burst into laughter, and then Rubi's startled by each time but ends up making a pleased shriek and his head rises and bumps a pillow or couch or his chest wherever the baby is and there's small, bubbly laughter spilling from the infant. Each of those moments makes Shizuo a little happier from the start or the end of his day. Really, especially when Izaya's been lingering more often. Whining that "Shizu-chan is so boring!" but there hasn't been men coming to try to fight him, so he figures that maybe Izaya has matured. Even if it's a little bit.

       "Mmm bwa bah bwa." Spittle trails down Rubi's chin, hands raised infront of the infant as they clap together- miss several times but he's babbling and Shizuo is trying to understand what's being said.

   "Yeah?" Shizuo keeps the infant on his side, opening the fridge where formula is already made in a bigger container that he pours into a bottle. Reheat it for a few moments than he's grabbing how own cup of milk. "So that's a yeah?"

       Rubi gurgles, smiles up at Shizuo who balances a cup, a bottle and a baby. Somehow manages until he's by the couch. The table that was placed before it a while ago, gone and shoved against the corner until Shizuo finds a new spot for it. He has blankets strewn across the floor; and then there's pillows that he lays Rubi on. Watches as the infant rolls over onto his belly and holds his head up; giggling and reaching for a toy that's bright and colorful and makes a squeak each time it's pressed against.

   Shizuo watches, for a short time before he drinks his milk. Feeds Rubi whose still wide awake afterwards and wants nothing more than to roll around on the floor, squeal and babble and reach for squeaky toys. Shizuo doesn't mind, he flicks on the television and leans against the couch, watching something that's a mix between comedy and some drama that's no where relatable. Then the doors ringing, making Rubi freeze up and look up at Shizuo with mouth wide open. The blond sighs, reaches over and taps a small nose so Rubi's giggling and laughing and chewing on the toy that resembles a octopus.  
        When he opens the door, a Flea is lingering by the door. Lips pursed into a pout so Shizuo's startled to see it's really Izaya fucking Orihara. So he slams the door-- ignores a few ringing, rapid knocking then suddenly Rubi's crying and all the noise makes Shizuo snap. The door is wretched open, his arm reaching and grabbing Izaya by the shirt.

    "What the _fuck_ do you want?" A hiss of words as Shizuo slams Izaya against the nearest wall, jaw clenched. Rubi's still crying, louder now. Shizuo guesses it's from all the sounds, and maybe because he's not _there_ to help him. It makes him a bit anxious--angrier; and suddenly he wants to snap Izaya's neck. Especially when he's grinning and sliding his hands up to cup Shizuo's cheeks like their fucking _lovers_.

     "You don't miss me? I'm hurt, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo pulls Izaya from the wall, shoves him back against it and Izaya winces. Reaching back to touch his head when it happens.       "Fucking-- I don't miss you." Shizuo drops the informant, turns but Izaya's following him back into his house. Silent and shutting the door behind him. Rubi's on the pillows, face flushed red and still crying, he stops briefly when Shizuo picks him up from the ground, and plops onto the couch- bounces him on his knee and then _fucking Izaya_ grabs the baby when there is still crying, soft hiccups and holds Rubi up into his arms and tsks Shizuo gently.

       "He hit his head, ne~ You can't tell?" Izaya pushes back soft locks of brown waved locks to indicate a red mark. Shizuo curses silently when Izaya's laughing, startling Rubi who looks upwards at the stranger holding him. "Hello, little monster~"

    "He's not a monster, Flea." Shizuo snaps, feels a bit of anxiety clawing him when Izaya turns and hums. "Fle--"

    "You look like shit, Shizu-chan." Izaya cuts him off, finger tapping the tip of a pink nose and Rubi's reaching for the hand, babbling. Shizuo tenses, and slumps back against the couch, snorting under his breathe because someone who was _shit_ called him shit. Ironic.   "You should go take a long shower and eat something. Don't worry, I won't do anything to your little monster." Of course not- he had no reason too. He was sure that Shizuo would snap his spine if he dare laid a hand on this infant. The prove being the throbbing on his head and back from prior moments.

   Shizuo looks thoughtful, staring at Izaya with a narrowed gaze. He wants to demand-- ask why he's there and how the fuck he found out where he lived. But then he's standing, shifting nervously and moving too take a shower and make a breakfast. Izaya watches him go, a faint smirk tugging the corner of his lips and then suddenly--

      "Ah-" A yank to his hair catches his attention, especially when Rubi's giggling and tugging the black locks hard enough to rip it out of the place. "A-ah, let go..." He mumbles, sitting on the couch and working to untangle chubby fingers from his hair.


	5. Chapter 5

       When Shizuo steps out of the shower, the steam is rolling off him in waves. His hair is matted down by water; dried by the towel and unruly- fingers tugging knots and lips turned upwards into a half contented smile. It was the first shower he had in several months that didn't make him feel as if he was selfish. Then he remembers that the Flea is there. In his apartment. Fuck.  
      He leaves the bathroom in a hurry, swallowing spit and fingers are clenched into fists around the towel by his neck- feet pounding against the floor and then all time stops when he sees Izaya, watching some kid cartoon shit with Rubi, whose silent but chewing on the toy as pink eyes stay on the sharp bright colors. Shizuo can't help but sigh in relief, tension lessened on his shoulders.

     "Shizu-chan still looks like shit." Izaya remarks moments later when Shizuo's plopped down beside him. The blond scowls.

     "Watch that language, Flea. I don't need Rubi saying that sh--stuff." Catching himself earned a grin from Izaya, who peers down at the infant. Rubi's too busy watching the characters talk and Shizuo finds himself momentarily distracted. Suddenly, he turns and gives Izaya a sharp glare. "Why are you here?" It's a demand, not a question. Yet he's urgent to find the answer- because he can't play anymore. Not in the way Izaya wants him too. Causing damage, growing his debt. Shizuo _knew_ , just knew, he couldn't be that way anymore. Izaya seems amused- if he was, by what the other spoke. Leans back and brushes his fingers gently through Rubi's hair.

     "Shizu-chan isn't Shizu-chan anymore. It's _annoying_." Shizu-chan was never _Shizu-chan_. Never a beast that Izaya wanted him to be; never would be now that Rubi was in his home. Altering what he did and didn't do. "Until the day Shizu-chan becomes himself again, I won't mind having a bit of a truce."

    Shizuo's silent. A truce. Izaya's russet hues flickered to his own, those lips pushed into a damned smirk. It pisses-- pisses him off so bad. Shizuo would love nothing more than to reach over and pummel his face in.  
"I'm a man of my word, Shizuo." Shizuo's scowling again. Sighing when he looks down at Rubi, whose staring up at him with a smile.

       "Mma wa wa." Rubi waves his arms, the toy falling to the ground but not of interest as the rings that shine of Izaya's fingers. Rubi grasps the fingers, and bows down to put the shiny band into his mouth. Izaya jolts, facade dropping to one of weariness. Shizuo snorts beneath his breath, stands and goes to the kitchen. Ignores Izaya's whine of his name because he's hungry- and so he's going to cook some breakfast.

 

* * *

 

Of course the Flea ends up staying. Long enough that when Shizuo comments that he has to go to the store- buy some more diapers and food. And he invites himself along, grabbing Shizuo's arm and humming loudly. Rubi's in a carrier; cooing.

    "Do you realize how strange we look," Izaya's chuckling. Watching as Shizuo tenses and swears softly beneath his breath. "Like a family--"

     "Don't say gross things." Shizuo responds, keeps his eyes forward. But the words sting, bury themselves deep into his mind when he enters the store and glances down at the baby whose staring back up at him with bright eyes. When he meets Izaya's gaze, Shizuo scowls. "We aren't ever going to be a family. Scram, Flea. I've had enough of your smell."

Izaya grins. The same way that makes Shizuo mad, and aching to punch him. "Fine, but Shizu-chan~ Someone needs to _relax_." With a wave of fingers, Izaya's gone.

      Briefly, Shizuo wonders-- when he's placing Rubi into a buggy, making sure it won't fall over-- if Izaya's trying to play a whole new game. Truce? Probably something deeper-- cruel. Shizuo stiffens, fingers nearly snapping the bar he grips in half, _I won't fall for it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So short, but I've worked three days on this shortness. I cannot write more than like... 900 words apparently. Boo.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight ooc~  
> Ah well. Enjoy!

     Rubi's crying. It wasn't a cry of hunger, nor a dirty diaper. No, it was a cry of betrayal and pain. Shizuo couldn't bear look at Rubi in the eye after the three month old got his second shot- the first being as he was two months. He couldn't. The poor infant looked as if he'd been stabbed in the heart, and his cries only tugged at Shizuo's chest. He didn't know how to make it up for the youngling-- have tempted to just punch the doctor who gave him the shot, but he knew it was needed

   Damn, but he hated it. Hated when Rubi screamed and wailed, and hated it when Rubi gave him _that_ look with large pink eyes that streaked tears. His face red, head hot and small form shaking and then he was hiccuping, sobbing-- legs kicking. It was heart wrenching, and he couldn't...he wanted to cry himself. Shizuo rocked the baby; teeth clamping down on his tongue and exhaling.

       "Shh...shh, it's okay. It's gonna be okay..."

   "A-" Hiccup, "awaaaa--!"

     It's gonna be okay. It will be okay. Shizuo tensed, pressing gentle kisses onto the baby's head, who began to quiet down only when Shizuo pressed a pacifier into the younglings mouth, his third attempt. Rubi hiccuped occasionally, sniffling. Snot was trailing down, but Shizuo wiped it away with the cuff of his shirt. Wiping away tears; and the heartbroken expression that Rubi held.

             "I'm sorry."

He's stressed. Stressed when Rubi starts to wail again, loud-- and he doesn't know what to do. He's half tempted to dial Shinra's number. Maybe text Celty-- though, thirty or so minutes later. He's opening the door, still rocking a crying Rubi-- when Izaya holds out his arms, fingers wiggling and Rubi seems inclined to want Izaya more than he wants Shizuo.

    "He a..ah..won't stop crying." Shizuo rubs the back of his head, anxious. Izaya shoots him a look, grinning.

     "You didn't deal with your brother when he was a child?"

     A silence reigns on- minus Rubi's crying that's becoming silenced when Izaya rubs the back of his neck, thumb gently moving back and forth.  
       "Our mom took care of him when he cried." Izaya hummed in response, shushing Rubi and moving to sit down. "How are you good at that Flea?" How _was_ he good at making Rubi stop crying. Just by merely shushing and doing whatever the fuck he just did. Izaya glanced at him, lips curled into a grin.

     "I'm an informant, I know everything." That wasn't the answer Shizuo wanted. But for now, he was fine. Rubi wasn't crying, just hiccuping and sniffling.

         "Whatever, pest."

"Shh~!"


	7. Chapter 7

     "What the fuck--?" 

   

                        Shizuo's half awake, eyesight blurry and the light in the bedroom is  _bright so fucking bright_. He sits up, swallows saliva and finds himself staring at an informant, whose cradling a sleepy Rubi. Rubi's head is bobbing back and forth, before it thumps against Izaya's chest and Shizuo's throwing the covers off his lap, head pounding and sleep clawing at his form--

 "Shizu-chan, lay back down."

 

"Eh?"

                 Confused, slightly annoyed; but his eyesight is coming back so he can can perfectly make out the way Izaya grins. The way the informant holds Rubi, and some part of Shizuo wonders where the  _hell_ this dumbass managed to come into the bedroom--  _into his home_ and  _holding his kid_ \--

 

              "Lay down, Shizu-chan." 

Shizuo's still confused, still finds himself half awake, half asleep. Lays back and blinks,  _once twice_ , Izaya is in bed with him. Rubi's there, pressed onto his side as a reminder not to  _flip the fucking bed over_ , not to grab at Izaya and break his neck. There's a hand on his chest, and Shizuo's blinking when the lights are somehow  _off_ \-- somehow, in the midst of Izaya coming over into the bed and dragging the sheets over his chest and their bodies so it's warm, and Rubi's making soft breathing sounds that Shizuo can't help  _but_ feel a bit more content than he was five seconds ago.

                       "Good night, Shizu-chan."

 

"Flea.." Shizuo hisses, jaw clenched when that hand rubs at his chest then pats--  _laughter_ breaking into the air and Shizuo's hand twitches. "What the  _fuck_ ," though his voice is soft- hoarse, and  _cracked_ ; and Izaya's is smooth and as gentle as the lips he finds pressing against his stiff jaw.

" _Goodnight_."


	8. Chapter 8

                  Shizuo wakes up with too much heat; a wet patch beside him and the sound of breathing that doesn't belong to him. But he's too dazed-- too  _tired_ to fully be awake. There's something about having a full nights sleep,  _exhausted_ enough to not say anything. He sits up, using both arms to hold his body upwards and  _eyes_ blink away blurriness, mouth catching a yawn that still escapes his mouth and the corner of his eyes water.

       Izaya's sleeping soundly. Shizuo stares at the informant, then at the infant that is curling and uncurling, hands waving. The need to punch Izaya fades, just as he reaches down and lifts Rubi up. Winces at the touch of wet clothing and the damp smell of urine early in the morning. Rubi gurgles, hiccups and grins. Shizuo finds himself smiling back.

* * *

 

      Rubi gets a bath early in the morning. That's a habit Shizuo has done since the start of taking care of the infant. He gets one in the morning, and before bed because of the mess he makes throughout the day. Sometimes, there are baths within the middle of the day if the mess if horrible, or if Rubi's smelling strongly of shit and piss. When Rubi is placed into the water, the baby squeals and thrashes his arms to make water fly up and Shizuo grins,  _sighs_ , but brings a cloth to wash him. 

            When he hears footsteps, Shizuo turns his head and notices a sleepy raven rubbing at his eyes, an all too familiar white button up and nothing but pale legs. He scowls, but the sudden-  _SWISH_ from inside the tub makes him jump and look at the youngling with an expression of shock before Izaya's chuckling. 

 "Good morning Shizu-chan," Izaya begins. Steps inside the bathroom and bends over so he's mouth can press against the beasts. Shizuo grunts in response, wipes at his _mouth_ \--ignores what just happened _Rubi's there he tells himself_ \--and mumbles:

 " _Why are you in my clothes, Flea_?"

       "Because Shizu-chan everything else you own is too big." Comes an response, as Izaya leans towards the rub and scoops up bubbles, holds them out to Rubi who takes them with wobbly fingers and sucks on them. The face he makes causes Izaya to double up. Shizuo scowls, reaches for the back of Izaya's--  _his shirt his_ \-- and yanks the informant hard enough to bring his ass onto the floor. 

 "Whatever, get the fuck out."

       "You don't want breakfast?" Shizuo stares. Russet hues are matching his gaze, steady and cool. A mouth puckered into a pout feigning innocence and some part of Shizuo wonders when they became  _so domestic_. Whenever it happened, Shizuo doesn't know whether or not he really likes it, _this_ or just maybe the fact Izaya's actually trying to hold onto a truce Shizuo doesn't believe in; the emotions conflict and only serve to  ** _piss him off_**. The silence seems to bring an answer to Izaya, who hums and adds; "pancakes then? I'm sure Shizu-chan would prefer something sweet. Would you like some coffee?" The sound of water splashing and more squealing, the occasional squeak from a toy being bit down upon. "No. Milk it is."

                                   Izaya leaves. But Shizuo watches, swallows words he wishes to say but returns a look to Rubi-- whose now watching him..just as he begins to pee. Shizuo sighs softly, reaches for the youngling and lifts him into his arms. Wraps the child into a fluffy, green and pink towel with rabbits and frogs. Draining the water, Shizuo uses his foot to push back the smaller bath tub  _fuck if he knows the name_ within the larger one.

      "Ya hungry, Ruru?"

                                             At the nickname, Rubi looks up and opens his mouth- "gwa?"   

Shizuo takes that as a yes.    

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NNG. DOMESTIC SHIZAYA. I dunno. I'm considering smut, but then I don't wanna taint this..plus I suck at smut. Hah- maybe write a whole new oneshot for this? I guess? Should I?  
> Anyways, comments and kudos are appreciated!  
> 


	9. Chapter 9

  Breakfast smells sweeter than Shizuo has ever smelt it before. Rubi's on his lap, being bounced as Shizuo gives Izaya a weary stare from the seat at the table. It's strange, seeing the informant dance around his kitchen, humming some shitty tune that doesn't seem to make  _any sense_ \-- but nothing seemed to make sense anymore. Not when there was a kid on his lap, a Flea knowing his kitchen better than he did, and the strange fluttery feeling in his chest.

   Shizuo doesn't know if he likes it or not.

                             By the time there's a stack of pancakes beside him, Rubi's attention is on a bright, plastic like spoon and chewing it. Izaya sits across from him, hands clasped together as he _grins_ widely. Shizuo glances at the raven, then down at his kid before glancing back up at him. "What?"

          "Nothing, Shizu-chan," Izaya sighs, leans back. Fingers untwine from eachother, and two bony arms cross over his chest. Izaya's legs are crossed, and if Shizuo looks down, he can see the expansion of pale flesh, ignores a stinging heat  on his cheeks as his eyes darken, flicker upwards and catches sight of Izaya's thighs.  When he looks back up, Izaya is still grinning.  "Yes?"

"Nothing." Shizuo snaps, mocking the other; "put some damn clothes on. Where are yours?" Izaya doesn't respond right away, standing upwards and moving over to the blond, who tenses. It takes him a deep inhale, _holding his breath_ , before Izaya reaches and takes Rubi from his arms.

      "Ruined!" Izaya gasps, bouncing the infant playfully all the while, keeping on hand against a tiny head to balance it. Rubi begins to giggle, arms jerking in tune of the movements he seems to enjoy. "Mini-Monster threw up all over it." Shizuo tsks. He's already pouring a ocean of syrup on the pancakes, stomach grumbling as he manages to cut a piece off with his fork.

  "Maybe ya shouldn't bounce him like that then," Shizuo says, swallowing the extra dosed sugary pancake, licking his lips as he tilts his head back to watch Izaya brush away brown locks on Rubi's head. "He throws up when he's moved alot."

             "Shizu-chan should've told me sooner."  Izaya mumbles, pausing in his bouncing. Rubi stares upwards at the informant, shakes his arms and presses the slobbered spoon against Izaya's mouth. " _Yeck--!"_

* * *

                            _I'm sorry, Shizuo!_

The words from Celty still make Shizuo sigh, even if it's been five minutes since the conversation via phone. Flips his phone shut. Open. Shut. Open. He has work to do, realized it when his phone vibrates brightly from a text, a reminder from Tom that they would be meeting up a bit later than usual. Perhaps, that was why Celty couldn't come pick up Rubi--

           --but Izaya is still dressed in his damn shirt. Lounging on his couch like he owns the damn place, and Shizuo can't kick him out  _just_ yet, for some unknown reason. Everytime he looks over, his body heats up and he dubs it as  _hatred_ and rather not try to push his patience just yet, not with Rubi  _oohing_ up a storm everytime Izaya hides his face between his hands then peeks out, sticking his tongue out playfully.

                              "Oi," Shizuo's hovering over the two, hands shoved into his pockets and lips curled into a scowl that almost braks when Rubi looks at him and  _smiles_. Izaya's eyes are wide, etched in innocence and whatever the fuck Izaya thought he could be. "I have to go to work, get out."

   "And leave Mini-Shizu-chan all alone? Tsk, such a bad father you are." Shizuo's brow twitches. He reached down and grabs at the raven's shoulder; earns a  _gasp_ that makes him grin wider than he should as Izaya's back slams against his front. "Ah,  _Shizu-chan_ , not infront of the baby!" 

               Shizuo growls, deep  _bitter_ and pissed. Rubi jumps, face looks startled before it flushes deep red and  _fuck he's crying_. Izaya begins to  _laugh_ and it's all too much-- "Fucking  _damnit_ , Izaya--" Shizuo starts, shoves the raven away and tries to comfort the sobbing infant. It takes ten minutes. He ends up texting Tom,  _i'll be late_ , mutters about how irritating Fleas are but there's a hand on his shoulder. 

            Rubs at the back of his neck, causing Shizuo to deeply inhale. His head lolls to one side, patting Rubi whose settled into hiccups and slobbering all over his vest, though, Shizuo doesn't mind. Especially not with the hand persistently digging into his muscle in what should've been a more pleasurable feeling. It's not _bad_ , not  _all good_ but eases some stress. He forgets the hand belongs to Izaya, eyes sliding shut as he relaxes.

                     "He's asleep, Shizuo." It's the first time in weeks that Shizuo has heard his name being said from the other. Golden hues open, slow but surely he's now staring at the amused informant. "It's a bit early, ne?"

 "It's fine," a gruff response as Shizuo rolls his shoulders to get Izaya off. The Flea doesn't remove his hand, instead slides it lower to the middle of the brutes back. " _Izaya_."

               "Shizu-chan." Izaya breathes,  _soft_ as his lids lower. Eyes shut as a content  _hm_ escapes the back of his throat. Shizuo finds himself swallowing hard, just as Izaya leans closer. That hand moving back upwards, sliding to his arm and gripping white fabric as Shizuo shifts. Away, _away from Izaya_.

         "I have to go to work," Shizuo repeats. "I can't trust you--"

                                  "We have a truce," Izaya cuts off. Tone dry as his arms hold out. Fingers curved in what would be called a  _give it_ motion. "I am a man of my word."

                    It takes another five minutes to hand Rubi over. It takes  _seven_ minutes to detach himself from the home, ignoring the curling heat within his _groin_  when Izaya moves from the couch, bends over to grab the blankets strewn across the floor; it's more  _legs and thighs_ , but then a pert ass hugged by briefs. 

                                                 _Eight minutes_ , to push away lewd thoughts. 

 

  _Another ten_ , to get to the meeting point with Tom. By then, Shizuo's gut feeling of this  _truce_ has worsened tenfold. He makes the choice of ignoring it-- to trust the  _one percent_.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shit, but I love it anyways.  
> 


	10. Chapter 10

                     Izaya's grinning in the fashion as he always does. Rubi is on his knees, balanced easily despite the infants want to grab at a toy. It's not torture, or so Izaya thinks it as so. Shizuo's gone, working as usual to pay for diapers and forumla, it just makes Izaya laugh to see the brute try so hard for a child that wasn't _supposedly_ his. It only makes sense, that Rubi could even be a monster, Izaya believes it as so.

     He gently tugs Rubi away from the toy, watches in interest as the infant seems to become more frustrated. He can't lash out yet, Izaya cocks his head to one side, watches as Rubi begins to tear up because no matter how hard he tries, Izaya's still going to pull him back. Everytime chubby fingers graze the toy, Izaya slowly adjusts the position to make Rubi miss. 

  His chest doesn't ache, not in the same way Shizuo's probably does when Rubi begins to cry. Izaya's too immune to it, Rubi hiccups loudly and turns his head to Izaya, large eyes still pink. Not as bright as before, but a deeper hue of the color. Izaya smiles at the infant, whose still crying. "Shh, Rubi-chan, don't worry. You'll get it. Just keep trying, ne?" It's not as if the baby could understand the lesson Izaya was trying to bestow upon him. The informant lets Rubi cry for a manner of five minutes, watches Rubi range from shrill to silent, simply nearing hiccups and a snotty nose that makes Izaya cringe. 

  Wiping the appendage, Izaya wonders how pissed Shizuo would be if he came home and saw him mistreating Rubi in such a way. Grabbing the toy, Izaya hands it to the child and sees the brightness reflect in the expression as soon as it's in the baby's hands. Rubi begins to shake it, listening to the rattle within it as he looks up at Izaya and smiles widely. "Ma-ma?" 

    Izaya blanches. "No, not mama."

"Mm..ma! Ma ma ma ma!" Rubi screeches happily. Tossing the toy upwards and giggling when it knocked against the ground hard. Izaya sighs, leans his head back onto the cushions of the couch and cocks his head as he slides his knees down. Allows Rubi to lay his tummy on his legs-- watches the infant pull himself closer to the toy and grab at it. 

     "Is that dreadful toy mama?" Izaya asks. Amusement leaking into his tone, "or am I Mama?"  Rubi ignores him, more in favor of the toy and what noises it can bring to him. "Tsk, you really are Shizuo's son, ne..."

                     "Ma maaa!"

Izaya can't help but feel the burst of rage, rubs at his head and hisses-- "she's  _dead_."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is short uvu Sorry. I will update later as well, because I needed this to get out before I forgot. The next one should have them out in public.  
> Also, I know that in the beginning Shizuo is all "yeah he's like my cousin something"  
> but IS THAT TH E TRU TH  
> Thanks for READING.


	11. Chapter 11

  "Izaya- _kun_."

"Shizu-chan!"

                       Shizuo's brow is twitching, hands clenching and unclenching. He's tempted to bash Izaya's head into the damn concrete, make the punk pay for whatever shit is pissing him off right now. But Izaya is dancing away, arms thrown into the air as he spins in a circle and Rubi's  _watching_ from the stroller. Propped up and chin streaked with drool, hands slapping the bar of the stroller.  Inhaling deeply, Shizuo tries to ignore the stares he's getting from around. People watching,  _curious_ as to why Shizuo hadn't tossed the raven to the next city.

  Mostly, it's because, Shizuo's learned that Rubi  _is attached_ to the Flea. Something he hadn't wanted, but then, because Shizuo  _really_ wants to grab Izaya by the neck and strangle him. Something up close and personal, but Shizuo hasn't exactly snapped yet.  _Not yet_. 

                "Mama!"

"He's not your mama, Ruru." Rubi looks up. 

           "Mama...Ma ma ama ma." Rubi then grabs his toy, and throws it. It knocks onto the ground and then Rubi begins to bounce in his seat, "gama buuuu." Shizuo wishes he could understand, really does. Bending down, Shizuo grabs the toy and hands it to his kid, who then tosses it again. They proceed in the same manner for a few minutes before Izaya swoops in, snatches up the toy and hands it to Rubi. "ba wa wa."

               "You're welcome." Izaya cooes, tapping the youngers nose. Shizuo makes a face.

"But, I've known him longer..."

                   "Haha, Shizu-chan. Don't pout, it makes you look  _cute_."

* * *

   Izaya tries his hardest to ignore the need to go back to work, just as hard as Shizuo seems to try to ignore the  _desire_ to pummel him into the ground. He tries not to cackle when he sips from his drink, a bottled water, amused at the idea that perhaps Shizuo was just sexually frustrated and wanted nothing more than to take it out on him. Russet hues flicker towards the brute and small child, doesn't say anything but his phone starts to ring. Again.

   Shizuo throws him a dirty look over trying to push Rubi on the swing. Gently, really. Izaya raises his brows. "Get that phone, Flea. It's startin'ta annoy me."

   "Fine, Fine~ Don't say I never listened, ne?" Izaya pulls one his many phones from his coat, turns and goes to find a more reclusive spot to answer the phone. "Hello, Shiki-san...."

                         Shizuo snorts. 

He's glad to be outside. No longer cooped up in his apartment, having to smell Izaya every damn second. At the thought, Shizuo pauses in pushing Rubi on the swing.  _When does...he ever leave..._ The sudden thought alone sent shivers up and down the blond's spine. He decided it was better to pay more attention to Rubi, whose looking as if he's asleep from being rocked in the swing. 

    Carefully, he reaches for Rubi and lifts him up.  _Slowly_ , takes the infant and places him into the stroller. Pulling the visor over the younger, the blond stretches his arms above his head and smiles. Content, really. It's getting better now that Rubi's six months, doesn't cry as much, doesn't vomit or shit all over the blonds clothes. Rubi's snoring in his sleep, which makes Shizuo chuckle as he starts to adjust the stroller to move.

                         "Oi, Heiwajima." Shizuo's face is one of devoid emotion when he lifts his head. Straightens out and peers over at the one who called his name. It's several men, all dressed dirtily in baggy pants, shirts over shirts and some sweatbands. They try to look menacing, however, it doesn't work.

          "Eh?"

                                "Someone told us you're looking to pick a fight with us," another blank expression. Though, Shizuo's gaze snaps to Izaya-- whose turned and watching with a faint smirk, eyes _shining_.

 "Huh."

                             "Hey--! Look at us when we--"

"Shut up, my kid's napping. If you wake him up, he'll be cranky for the rest of the day." Shizuo rolls his shoulders and gives the gangsters his full attention. "Beat it."

* * *

       When bodies are strewn across the ground, and Izaya is lingering at his side. Shizuo decides it's time to go home. Rubi slept, after being jolted awake by a flying rock which was the only reason as to why Shizuo became enraged. Izaya isn't speaking, Shizuo's isn't  _mad_. He's eerily calm, and just wants to go home.

   And once  _home_ , he makes sure Rubi is placed into the crib. Toys outside the small caged bed, and the youth is sleeping before he leaves the room, and shuts the door. It's only when Izaya's phone goes off, that Shizuo  _reacts_. Quick,  _simple_ , he manages to grab at Izaya, who was far more preoccupied with his cellphone to notice the brute grab his arm and shove him against wall. A beat, Shizuo inhales sharply and waits.

          "..."

"..."

                    "Shizu-chan--"

"You're  _ **pissing**  me off_." Shizuo hisses, jaw clenched tightly. "Did you  _really_ send a gang after me, hah? What about that  _truce_? Bullshit, I should've figured." Izaya's face lights up, before his lips turned upwards into a grin.

             "Shizu-chan, Shizu-chan. How was  _I_ supposed to know they would've came at tha-- _ah_ -" Izaya swallows hard when Shizuo jerks him back at the wall, head pounding. "Ne, atleast let me finish talking..."

             "You  _lied_."

"I did not. I kept my end of the bargain, you're the one  _breaking it_." Izaya breathes out,  _slow_ , as he raises his arms. "Shizu-chan," spoken softly, palms pressing onto the taller male's shoulders. "Accidents  _happen_." The silence that follows makes Izaya nervous. Shizuo is watching him, narrowed gaze and all. It's  _unnerving_ , he's not used to being under such intense looks from his worst enemy. 

                      "I don't  _ **trust you**_."

Izaya nods. "I see."

                               "You fucked up, I don't want you back here." Shizuo says, dropping Izaya and stepping back. "Get  _out_." Izaya hesitates. Before he  **grins** , and begins to laugh. Fingers end up around his throat, and he's shoved up against the wall once more. " _Flea_."

     "Shizuo." Izaya gasps out, gripping the others hand. Still grinning,  _still amused_ even though Shizuo's so close,  _so close_ to suffocating him. Suddenly, the floor meets his ass, and Shizuo's towering over him. Expression  _dark_ , hands clenched at his side before he turns away and walks towards his bedroom. The shutting of the door, the  _silence_ filling the hallway besides ragged breathing tells Izaya that he's dodged a bullet. 

           _For now_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bam. I was gonna add smut, but then it didn't fit hahah. Just wait uvu  
> 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, like. I tend to like..timeskip alot. Hhaa. Sorry! CUTENESS.

     Two weeks, after the incident. Shizuo was more content in the fact his home didn't smell like the Flea anymore. On the otherhand, Rubi was more likely to begin  _sobbing_ when he realized that his tummy time didn't include Izaya anymore. The first time it happened, Shizuo didn't understand what was going on. He rocked, patted, bathed,  _anything_ he could do to stop the younger one from crying himself to hysteria. 

     As of now, Rubi was sitting in a playpen. Reaching for a toy that was further than the rest. Shizuo watched him for a moment, going to move in and grab it for the child, before Rubi suddenly grasped it, waving it in his hand and screeching "mamamama" over and over again before chewing the head of the toy and falling backwards onto a pillow, kicking his legs and gurgling loudly. The blond shakes his head and turns to the television. 

    _Fucking Flea._

* * *

  Fucking  **Flea**.

 _Fucking_   _flea_!

                    Shizuo's thoughts were haywire, fingers uncurling and twitching once within a fist-- almost snapping his phone in half but managed to keep his cool when Rubi crawls over to him. "Ba." Rubi looks up at his father figure, keeps eye contact even when Izaya's message is clearly imprinted in his mind. Shizuo has to take a few deep breaths, has to  _lean_ _forward_ and step over his kid to go turn the television off, to lessen his rage. He can't get angry now, not now. So, Shizuo inhales deeply once more. 

 "Ruru, let's go see Celty and Shinra." Shizuo is already shoving a hand through his hair as Rubi sits up from crawling and blinks. 

 "Mama?"

             "No- fuck-" Shizuo swears twice. It's too much, yes, he loves Rubi. He wouldn't do anything to harm his own kid, but Izaya on the other hand? Shizuo grinds his teeth together when he lifts up his kid, bounces him a few times and earns a burp in response. It makes the tension Shizuo feel slip. The  _ring_ of his phone on the otherhand, causes the rage to flare once more. It's annoying, so annoying. "Come on, I think they miss you."

    Rubi simply bobs his head. "Mama."

* * *

                              Shizuo doesn't explain to Celty or Shinra why he's dropping for a visit, nor does he explain why he has to go out and kill Izaya. Celty types out a long message saying something akin to that she thought they were getting along, while Shinra does a quick checkup on Rubi, whose more eager to lick and drool over the stethoscope. Shizuo shakes his head, raises one hand and calmly tells her that everything is okay.

  No, it wasn't. By the time Shizuo had left his apartment, he was fully aware a band of idiots came in and tore it apart. Which is why he came over, this is why he  _had too_ fuck the Flea up. Even if that meant going all the way to Shunjuku and wrecking his place. An eye for an eye, right? Or some shit like that, that Shizuo doens't understand, doesn't care to understand, especially when his mind is a wreck and finally-  _finally_ \-- he can kill that damned Flea and ruin him for trying to mess up Rubi's only place for sanctuary. 

   Celty's shoulders drop, and she types out another message. [Fine, but don't get hurt, okay? Remember, Rubi still needs a father.]

 Shizuo rolls his neck, grunts a response and waves bye to Rubi.

                                                                It takes a span of twenty minutes to find Izaya. The Flea is chatting up with a man dressed in a suit. He looks old, sweating and dabbing his neck with a handkerchief every five seconds, but smiling and nodding along to wahtever the fuck Izaya is saying. Shizuo's brow twitches.

 "Izaaaayaaaaa-" He drawls, fingers curling around cool metal of the nearest sign. Izaya looks back at him, eyebrows rising. "You fucking piece of shit!"

                "Shizu-chan, I'm busy-- _well_ \--" Izaya starts, stops when the sign manages to hit his client out. It takes him a moment to readjust, due to the fact he's giving the old man a look of amusement. Shizuo's chest is rising and falling rapidly as soon as Izaya starts to speak again, "oh. That's a change, ne? So, you can't hit me, but you decide to hit one of my humans? Tsk tsk--"

                "SHUT UP!" Shizuo lurched forward, a fist swinging and Izaya cackled. 

"Now we're back! Hah, did Rubi die? Ne? Am I too blame for that?"

   "Shut the fuck up!"

              'I guess not, since you aren't crying," Izaya mumbled, jumping back from another fist. "Hey, Shizu-chan. Does Rubi-chan miss me?"

"DON'T CHAN HIM!"

                  Izaya doesn't respond. All the while, it makes Shizuo  _more_ angry and  _more_ willing to punch Izaya in the face. Because Izaya is right,  _fucking right_. Rubi does miss him, and it only makes Shizuo feel guilty. He doens't understand what Izaya did, or how he managed to make the young kid so attached to him in such a short time, or why Rubi thinks Izaya is a mother when the Flea was just as man as he was. Izaya suddenly takes a sharp turn, and Shizuo nearly trips trying to follow him-- swallows hard when he notices  _fuck_ it's a dead end, Izaya is gone. 

   He wants to roar out the informants name, but finds himself stalled when warm arms wound around his waist. "Shizu-chan,  _do you miss me_?"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are welcomed, thanks for reading! Also, I lied. There is not cuteness. Expect smut in the next chapter.  
> 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> W-wow okay I took two months to update? And it's seriously because I sat here writing, rewriting, shoved to the side, rewrote and edited this and I STILL HATE IT  
> and after ketsu i realized i needed the fluff...and..really short badly written smut.

     With the arm around his waist, Shizuo tenses and rolls his shoulders. Before he can even move, Izaya removes himself-- fingers still dancing light on his skin as the informant twists and presents himself before Shizuo with a wicked grin. Shizuo glares, reaches for the other male who steps back away. "Izaya--"

   The informant holds a finger to his own mouth, cocks his head one way and reaches for Shizuo, who stands stiff. There's no way to describe the feeling pulsing through Shizuo right now, swallowing hard. Grinding his teeth together, Shizuo makes another grab for Izaya. The other again steps away, darts to the side but by then, Shizuo darts forward and grabs at Izaya's jacket. Yanking him back so Izaya's back smashed against the front of his person. "I got'cha Flea."

   Izaya tilts his head back, and  _grins_. "Really? And what will you do?"

Shizuo opens his mouth to respond, before it shut firmly. He doesn't have a proper response, but his teeth are clenched together and he's debating if he should punch the Flea or throw him into the street. There's a inkling feeling in the back of his mind, that this was too easy. Catching the Flea was far to easy. It's fucking unnerving, and Izaya is just grinning up at him and whispers, "did you miss me?"

 _No I didn't fucking miss you_.

                        Is what Shizuo  _would've_ said, if his own mouth wasn't preoccupied with a certain informants. Stilling anymore words that tried to tug free, push at Shizuo's buttons. Hell, he didn't understand why he fucking wants to kiss that mouth- probably full of so much tension, figures that Izaya was the one who moved upwards to close the distance, hearing the soft  _wheezing_ for air when the brute squished him between a hard chest and even harder, uncomfortable wall.

               Shizuo was suprisingly okay with this. In a way. However, he was also  _livid_ and somehow, shoving Izaya onto walls has become his favorite pastime. Especially, when Izaya hissed beneath his breath and tried biting at Shizuo's bottom lip. Pulling from the more attack than passionate kiss, Shizuo leered down at the informant and scowls. Izaya, on the other hand, licks his bottom lip,  _laughs_ , so Shizuo decides that his frustration could be taken out by leaning down and kissing Izaya once again. This time, more gentle than the last.

                 _Fucking, I didn't miss you_.

He didn't miss Izaya. No way did he miss him. Though, light feathered touches against his stomach, burns heat into his groin. No way does he miss this-- they never did it. Ever. Shizuo growls deeply in the back of his throat, presses his hardening cock along a warm thigh and watches as Izaya grins between the kiss. 

 

       "Ha-ha! Shizu-chan--"

 

"Shut the fuck up." Shizuo snaps. Tangles his fingers in Izaya's hair and forces the male to jerk his head backwards, his teeth biting down along a section of skin. Izaya's snickering now; mirth clear and bright.

    "Sexually frustrated, ne?"

" _Shut. The fuck. Up._ " Patience is running dry especially when it's this fucking piece of shit. The same piece of shit who just managed to have his home wrecked, thus resulting in his own child getting nearly hurt in the process. The same piece of shit who was right. Reaching down, Shizuo squeezed at the others waist. "Keep talkin' and I'm going to break your fucking skull."

 

  "Kinky~" Izaya snorts, chokes on air when Shizuo assaults his mouth with another kiss. The hand on the informants waist falls to his thighs, just as Izaya wraps both his arms around Shizuo's neck and urged him closer. "Shizu-chan, you're really hard~"

   "Shut up." Shizuo hissed. Stalls when Izaya slides his leg upwards, brushes against a hard bulge and cackles. "Flea-"

 "I won't be fucked by a brute without some lubrication, Shizu-chan." 

                 "Fuck-" Shizuo snaps, takes Izaya's mouth back with his own. One hand grabs at the others cheek and pulls him closer, grinding his cock against the front of Izaya's jean. Izaya is torn between snickering and moaning himself; eyes flickered downwards to the brutes bulge and his growing erection. "Fuck."

   Izaya moaned softly, presses a chaste kiss onto Shizuo's jawline and reached downwards. "Shizu-chan, get some lube first~"

        "...." Shizuo scowls. "Why. Why the  _fuck_ should I?" There's a flicker of annoyance in Izaya's eyes before the informant heaves a deep sigh and loops his fingers around Shizuo's pants. Tugs the brute closer; tilts his head back and softly whispers  _kiss me protozan_ in which, Shizuo complies. Let his lowerlip get caught between teeth and bit down on, gently sucked after a moment. Izaya pulls once more from the kiss; his fingers skim across the others jaw. 

        "Shizuo, atleast  _listen_ once." Izaya snaps, feels his own temper rising. "If you want this to be  _fun_ , then the least you should do is get some lubrication. If not, then I don't think we should  _fuck_." Tsking lightly, Shizuo drops his head onto the others shoulder. Swallows hard before he groans out a "fine".

 

* * *

 

        "Shizu-chan, are you really so impatient to just have sex with me in an alley?" Izaya's voice trembles- shaken up as Shizuo's hand grips his hip and the brutes mouth constantly nips and sucks along his shoulder. As much as Izaya would have been okay with this _at first_ , a genuine fear pulsed through him at the feel of Shizu's size.

    Izaya swallows hard, russet hues flickering across the expanse of empty space and dirt gravel. Shizuo pauses as to what he was doing, eyes narrowing. "First ya tell me to get some lube. And now you want me to move? Fuck, Flea. I don't need people knowing we're going to do this." Izaya shakes his head. The brute was so incredibly selfish, it amused the informant. 

          "Shizu-chan, have you considered your size could rip me in two? Besides,  _no one_ visits you."

   Shizuo's glaring at him; eyes dark and tinted with lust and anger. A combination of passion and animosity, it stirs arousal within the informant, who reaches up once more, capturing the brute's face within his hands, tugging him closer, mouths moving over the brutes. A beat, silence and fingers runs along a firm jaw-- grasps blond hair and Izaya finds himself being dragged into a warm embrace. _Far too intimate for his own good_.

                         But Shizuo, as brutish as ever, waste no time detaching arms from his waist and dragging his fingers to grasp his jeans. Careful- almost slow, and Izaya tries not to laugh between each part from the kiss, head cocked backwards when Shizuo finds his neck more appealing than his mouth, clamping his teeth along the expansion of flesh, against the pounding his pulse. 

 They don't talk, not for the rest of it. Not when Shizuo drags his pants down, boxers following shortly after. Not when he's flipped over, hands bracing against the wall and teeth biting down on his lowerlip to stifle any sounds of contentment. It's just a quick fuck, nothing more. Atleast, that's what Izaya thinks Shizuo believes it to be. So, they  _won't_ be having sex pressed against softer sheets, instead in a more public place. Dirty, and dark and  _gross_ , though perhaps it would be for the better, Izaya realizes.

     ** _It's not so intimate._**

      A pop of a lid opening cuts through the silence of labored breathing, Izaya's fingers curling and hips shaking when the first finger digs inside him, not at all slow and impatient-- Izaya welcomes the burn, the ache of being stretched as another finger slides in, scissoring- stretching and pushing for the spot inside that'll make him scream. It's too bad Izaya doesn't plan too- not  _today_.

                              

         Izaya swallows, a mouthful of saliva when a sound of a zipper being dragged down catches his attention, face flushing red when the lube's bottle is reopened, all he could do was  _hear_ \- looking over just might cause Izaya to back out; not that he would admit it to Shizuo. Having planned this far ahead to just  _give in_ would be a failure on his part. 

          There's something hard and hot pushing into him. Izaya briefly scolds himself for not telling Shizuo to get a damned condom just as soon as the brute pushes in. It makes Izaya stiffen- claw at the wall when his breath catches in his throat.  _Well shit_. He hadn't expected Shizuo to just  _thrust i_ _n_. His cheeks feel far to hot than he should, breath coming out in a small pant, when Shizuo's mouth catches his ear and bites.

           He manages a snort; "affectionate, aren't you Shizu-cha-- _aahhnnn--_ " Oh,  _oh_. There's a hand around his cock, squeezing gently and dragging downwards when Shizuo pulls out, hissing out " _shut up flea_ " _._ Better to do as he says, Izaya's teeth clamping down on his bottom lip with each movement inside him. It's too fast, unpaced and Shizuo's a  _brute_ \-- an idiot-- a--

     The hand on his dick is hot; keeping each stroke matching the uneven pace; it's a shame it all ends to soon. When SHizuo finally hits his prostate, Izaya choked- wheezing for air as he tried to hold back the pleasured mewls.  _He needs to work on his skill_ , Izaya thinks idly, cheek pressed against the cool brick wall. Listening to Shizuo's intake of breaths, the slap of skin against skin. 

      Shizuo cums all to fast for Izaya to be impressed with the brutes stamina. Infact, he wants to laugh. But Shizuo's still pumping him, shaking behind him and when Izaya follows suit, his tongue is split and staining his mouth with blood. By the time Shizuo pulls out, Izaya winces at the white substance trickling between his legs- and glances behind him.

     "Tomorrow, at seven thirty Flea," Shizuo grunts, fixing his pants and pushing back sweat matted blond hair. Izaya raises both brows, curiosity apparent on his features. "I expect to see you. Rubi misses you."

   "Does he?" Izaya speaks, voice far more hoarse than he imagined. "I didn't know he was aware of who I was." It's a tease, followed by a laugh far to breathless when he tries to fix himself. Legs shaking and heart pounding- Shizuo grunts. A cigarette pressed into his mouth before he turns away. 

               "Yeah well, he keeps callin' ya Mama."

Shizuo misses the look of disdain Izaya gives him.

                 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S HORRIBLE AND I HATE IT. I'M SORRY.  
> Kudos and comments are appreciated!  
> 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think about doing a version for izaya but i realize  
> i never would be able to haha  
> namie would be the nanny or some shit lmao

  When Shizuo comes home, Rubi in his arms and a bag in another he can't help but let out a sigh; voice stained in annoyance. The sex he had with Izaya earlier  _did_ help push off some tension,  _some_ stress and he felt a bit more relaxed than he had the day before. Maybe for the past week, whatever the hell the problem was. Shizuo wouldn't try to think so much of it- not when he has other shit to think about.

    Like how his house was a wreck. Glancing down at the toddler, who was yawning and sucking on his thumb- Shizuo realized he would have to spend the whole night picking up what remnants he could. It was only until he had given Rubi a bath, trying to enjoy the child giggling and eating bubbles he still thinks taste bad and _then_ puts the other to bed when Shizuo finally let some part of him snap. He was, of course, beyond pissed. Brow twitching when every item he grabbed was crushed between his fingers so easily. 

* * *

                                     It's seven twenty five when Izaya shows up. Shizuo is tired, yawns stifled by a hand that comes to hide his mouth when he opens the door. Hair a mess; eyes dropping half lidded, vision slightly blurred and he keeps  _yawning_ , tears pricking the edges of his eyes when he steps back and lets Izaya in. Izaya is chirpy, god awful and loud. Moving so fast Shizuo can't help but feel as if he's in some daze. When he falls onto the couch, one leg hanging off as he lays on his back, scratching at his belly; Izaya is in the kitchen doing something that smells  _heavenly_. 

   But Shizuo isn't hungry. Not now atleast- torn between falling deeper into a blissful sleep, eyes flickering open and close. He doesn't realize he had fallen asleep, until he jerks awake, drool down his chin that he wipes at and grumbles. He sits up and looks around the room, living room- cleaned except for the mess of broken items by the corner. The attack on his home only involved a broken tv, some chairs, a few spray painted shit on the walls of badly written kanji he can't make out-- and he remembers what he wants Izaya to do.

             "Oi- Flea," his voice is rougher than he imagines, pushing himself from the couch and stumbling into the kitchen, breath stalling when Izaya cocks his head back and grins at him. 

 "Yes Shizu-chan~?"

             "..." It's too early, he tells himself. Shizuo runs a hand through his hair, far too hard but not enough to rip out thick locks. "My  _house_. You fuckin' prick."

"Ah? So you got my gift. I expected you to be more mad--"

         "Fuck Flea, can't you just  _stop_?" Shizuo snaps, rubbing his eyes. "I can't deal with you."

There's a silence. When Shizuo looks up, Izaya isn't turned to him anymore. More focused on the food he's making. There's a stiffness in his shoulders; movements sharp and abrupt. Shizuo isn't much of a people person, not as much as Izaya claims to be. But he knows far too well when someone feels  _rejected_ , and when Izaya still refuses to look at him despite Shizuo moving closer. 

           "Flea." Nothing. "Izaya."

Izaya looks up, eyes devoid of emotion. Shizuo's lip twitches, and suddenly he leans down and knocks his forehead against the damned Flea's, watches in amusement when Izaya's expression breaks, confusion before Shizuo does it again;

   "Boop."

".."

           Izaya's face turns a bright shade of red, like the color of a stop sign. Eyes wide and bottom lip quivering. "Di-did you just _boop_ me?!" He nearly  _shrieks_ ,  hands coming up to his forehead. Shizuo shrugs, glances at the food that the informant is preparing and then says;

                    "Yeah, you looked like a kicked puppy...-"

"That does not mean you  _boop_ m-- do you even  _know_ what boop means?!" Izaya is hissing now, face brighter and Shizuo can't bring himself to get angry. So he shrugs instead, says  _i saw it on tv, stop freaking out_.

  Izaya is too stunned to speak. So Shizuo stares, shrugs again and moves to go get Rubi, whose, by now, screaming. When he walks into the bedroom, the small child has pulled himself up from the crib and is bouncing. No tears, just screaming and toothless smiles when Shizuo grabs him.

    "Mamamwawa?" Rubi blurts, pinching at Shizuo's cheeks. Shizuo tries to detach the digits, finds he can't because Rui's grip is harder than he expected and he rather not snap his own kids wrist. 

                 "Ye-yeah, Mama is here--  _Rubi stop_ \--" A hand in his mouth and Shizuo nearly gags-- all he gets is laughter and hand yanking his hair. 

* * *

                                "Itadakimasu."

 Rubi is louder- more energetic and excited when he sees food on the table, his higherchair shoved against the table so the toddler could be close. When he's seated, he slams his hands on the tray- blurting out loud squeals that Shizuo has long grown to adore. Izaya on the other hand, winces and glances at Shizuo with a raised brow. 

  "Aren't you going to feed him, Shizu-chan?" Izaya asks, leaning closer. He's sitting across, bowl of Oyakodon and miso before him. Shizuo pokes at the chicken, mixing the eggs, rice and chicken together. He glances at Rubi, then at Izaya.

          "You feed him." Shizuo grumbles. He's playing really. Shoving a mouthful of food into his mouth and chewing thoughtfully. Izaya cooked good,  _better than him_ , and if this is what he would get every morning if Izaya was around...Maybe he could deal with the Flea a little more. 

    Izaya throws him a glare. In which he shrugs; watches Rubi open his mouth and bounce in his seat. "Oi, Ruru, ask  _mama_ to give you some food." He says, teasing. Izaya keep's glaring- grumbling as the informant shoves off the table and leaves to retrieve food for the toddler. Shizuo sneaks in some rice for the child, who chews happily despite not having teeth, the rice already soft enough to actually eat--and kicks his feet. When Izaya returns, he's pouting and opening up a jar of food that makes Shizuo scrunch up his nose. 

 

Rubi mimics the action, turning his head and making whine sounds when Izaya tries to give him a spoonful of the substance. Shizuo snorts, still eating his own plate of food. It's not until Rubi finally opens his mouth to try the food when Izaya sighs in relief.

It takes Rubi five seconds to spit it back out, making a "blah!" sound that causes Shizuo to erupt into laughter, hand coming to his mouth to stifle the sounds as he chokes on rice, egg and chicken-- Izaya stares; inhales sharply and wipes the gunk from his face. 

       "You do that on purpose you brute!"

"Like I knew he was gonna spit it out on you, he normally eats good." Shizuo says; after coughing and swallowing a mouthful of milk. Rubi looks between the two men before making grabby hands at their own food. 

                 Izaya keeps pouting. Rubi keeps blabbering and ends up, somehow, after three spit ups, eating the jar and wanting more. By the time Shizuo is done eating, he finds that he prefers  _this_ kind of morning to the ones he has alone.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the next chapter will have Rubi saying his first words and Shizuo being a proud papa tbh.


	15. Chapter 15

   "No!"

"Rubi Heiwajima, get over here now." Shizuo's trying to sound serious, like a stern father who just wants the best for his kid. But Rubi's now one, flaunting his naked behind and running around the living room, screeching like no tomorrow. Shizuo vaguely wonders if his mother had to deal with him when he was like this.

       "No!"

"Rubi..." Rubi looks at him, hands at his side and face scrunched up while he finally points a finger and screams _no! caca!_

     At that, Shizuo sighs. Plops onto the couch and let's the bundle of energy run around the room until he realized that Shizuo wasn't going to chase him. Not now, not when they were suppose to go out and have a play date with the two doors down neighbors kid. Whose, only a year older but has a younger brother. They met one evening when Rubi had bolted from the doorway as Shizuo locked the door- nearly wheezing on a breathe when he noticed Rubi gone- only to notice him staring up at the other kid whose eyes were a dark red, holding the hand of another kid whose eyes were a brighter variety of the color. 

* * *

 

        "Haha, he seems like a sweet kid." The mother is a beautiful raven, whose eyes are soft and Shizuo couldn't help but smile at her, sheepish. "What's his name?"

      "Rubi."

"Such a cute name. This is Toudaimoto and Hachimenroppi, say hi for mommy!" The oldest, Toudaimoto waved while Hachimenroppi hid.

* * *

 

     And after a long conversation, with his phone buzzing annoyingly in his pocket; Rubi clinging to Toudaimoto and happy- there was a date for the kids to play. And really. It was nice to know Rubi would be surrounded by some other people other than the Flea.

     "Ruru, come on. Don't ya wanna play with Toudaimoto and Hachimenroppi?" God those kids had a mouthful for names. Rubi seemed thoughtful, before he marched right up to Shizuo and pulled his pant leg. 

      "Uhn! Uhn!"

Which translated to: up.

  So, Shizuo lifted the toddler up and plopped him on the couch. "Finally."

* * *

 

       Izaya is the easily jealous type, Shizuo realized. Amused and annoyed when the Flea clings him as he talks to the mother of the two. She's a single mother named Inari, whose boyfriend had left her as soon as she had Roppi. Shizuo didn't think that was right, more willing to beat the punk into the ground but Inari just shrugs it off and smiles fondly at her children.

         Rubi is running around, smiling and hands flailing as his hair jostled with each step he took. Brown hair a curly mess and Inari takes the time to not that Rubi really looks like Shizuo. 

      "Ah, er--" He finds it hard to say that Rubi isn't really his. A cousin- but Izaya grips his arm far too tight, pressing his head against his back and breathing out a soft 'shizu-chan' that makes him feel warm and faint.  "Thanks."

     Inari smiles. "Toudai and Roppi seem to be having alot of fun with him. They don't go out much, really. I try but I work so much." She sighs and tucks away raven locks, still smiling. She's tired, but Shizuo finds in her a strength he admires her for. 

          When he looks over, Toudaimoto is patting Rubi on the head and Hachimenroppi is crouched down, holding up a toy he brought along. Rubi seems content, extremely joyful and when it's time to go home, Rubi is blabbering-- before suddenly he looks up at Shizuo and goes, "daddy?"

 

     Shizuo stops. Suddenly freezing up and Izaya's hand is against his back. 

    "Was that his first word?" 

"N-no. No was his first word." Shizuo swallows thickly. He's not going to cry, not when Izaya chuckles and kisses his jawline. Not when Rubi repeats 'Daddy' again and tugs his hand with a series of whines.

 

       "Shizu-chan looks like he's going to faint from joy!" Izaya cackles. Shizuo looks away, flushed cheeks and a grumble of shut up.

 

        "You're still Mama." Shizuo snaps back, lifting Rubi up when the one year old begins to stomp his feet; seeking attention. Rubi points to a vending machine.

    "Dwink." 

"Izaya go get him a drink."

     "No."

"Dwink za! Dwink!" Rubi chirps, "bwad mama!"

        "Yeah, he's a bad mama." Shizuo laughs. Kissing the brunettes forehead and Izaya huffs loudy. 

    "Stop teaching him to be mean to me Shizu-chan!"

      "I'm not." Shizuo tries to sound serious. He can't, not when Rubi points a finger and calls Izaya 'caca'. The informant doesn't look amused and Shizuo can't help but laugh. Which makes Rubi laugh.

  When the informant still doesn't look amused, more slightly hurt than anything- Shizuo brings a hand to the back of the raven's head and drags it towards him; kissing his forehead. 

     "Shizu-chan!" Izaya hisses, "not in public." But Shizuo doesn't care, nor would he ever. Ikebukuro could go up in flames, he's too much in bliss of a perfect image of family right before his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .... hey uh, bring tissues guys :')  
>  Just a warning
> 
> Also feel free to bother me at dayzaya.tumblr.com!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this would be the last update for the week- as prom is saturday and I will be with my friend.  
> So please enjoy!

           "Shizu-chan, did you know that there are people who try to destroy their own happiness because they are afraid of something bad happening? But really, if they destroy it, they constantly live in a state of unhappiness! Don't you think it's ironic--"

    "You talk too much Flea." Shizuo's back is firm against the bed, fingers threading through dark black hair. Izaya's mouth shuts, tight and lips pressed firmly together as he stares at the wall. The silence doesn't bother Shizuo; but maybe the way Izaya became hurt over such a sentence drags guilt into his mind. Sighing softly, Shizuo reached up and rubbed his head with his free hand. "Alright, uh- yea..it's...pretty shitty. If they don't try to ruin it, they wouldn't have to worry over somethin' like that." He doesn't have much to say about the topic- not that he doesn't care, because in all honesty listening to the Flea talk was much better than the silence with him; but because Shizuo didn't care to bother himself with other people unless they were his friend.

             Izaya makes a sound between a  _hmph_  and grunt, possibly offended over Shizuo's indifference to the topic. Shizuo shrugs. 

 Their relationship seeped into more of a domestic one; with sex and kisses and gentle touches that were laced with former violence. Any second they would snap; any second they could go back to trying to do more than hurt one another. Shizuo wished-- _hoped_ \-- it wouldn't go to that, having felt more comfortable with what they did now. Be it that each time they acted out in sex it wasn't intimate, that each kiss was done with more aggression than passion-- Shizuo was more content with it to be like that then the anger. 

         "You're such an uncultured brute."

"Shut up." Shizuo mumbles, lifting the informants head to place a firm kiss onto the others mouth. " _Talk too much_."

* * *

                Shizuo ends up leaving Rubi with a daycare. It's odd and he hates seeing Rubi cry up a storm whenever he left. Izaya helped choose one of the better daycare's around Ikebukuro. He figured it was one that Izaya knew had probable little influence with gangs or Yakuza, of course he was thankful- having dragged Izaya into a one arm hug and kissed him until his lungs burned with air. Even then, he kept doing so-- watching Izaya turn shades of red with a grin on his face. 

         The daycare became an option when Shizuo was speaking with Inari, the woman mentioning that her kids go to a daycare while she worked and she believed it helped with social skills. Shizuo had thought about it, told Izaya and before he knew it, Rubi was going every day of the week, except the days he had off. In which, he spent with Shizuo or, sometimes both the informant and Shizuo. A few he spent with Celty and Shinra when the work days lagged into the night.

                    When he leaves Rubi at the daycare for the third week, Rubi looks up at him and pulls his pant leg. "Daddy, daddy." He's pointing at something, it's a small horse used to rock on. Shizuo mouths a 'sorry' at the lady who runs the daycare, who instead throws him a smile and Shizuo moved over to the horse with his son infront of him. When he crouches down, Rubi climbs onto the horse and pets it's mane softly. "Daddy lwoo." He says, babbling nonesense. Shizuo nods along, as if he understands and then slowly he leans over and kisses the kids head. 

 "Alright, Daddy has to go to work now." He says, watching any tell tale sign of crying but instead Rubi looks at him and nods.

             "Bye bye Daddy!" He says, hugging Shizuo around the neck before returning to rocking in on the horse. Shizuo smiles- bright as he stands and watches for a moment. A sense of pride swirling deep inside him, makes him feel  _better_. A monster that raises a child, a child whose perfect in every way.

  When he exits the daycare, tugging his sunglasses on his face he inhales deeply. But a frown tugged the corner of his lips--

   He smelt something  _bad._

Felt it in his gut.

The scent wasn't Izaya, that smell having faded into something much more pleasant the more easier it became Shizuo to  _really_ read the informant-- clutching his fists, Shizuo exhaled and began to walk.  _Somethin' is up._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> plots happened


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> s obs   
>  i wrote the chapter and it didn't save???  
> what SORCERY??????

         Rubi plays with his new friend, Delic. The boy has yellow hair and he talks more than Rubi. He holds Rubi's hand and shows him how to play all sorts of games and then they are allowed to go outside for recess. His favorite thing to do was go on the swings, and Delic liked to play in the sandcastle. Delic waves at him, grinning. He's missing a front tooth and his other is coming out slowly, Rubi runs to the swing. He tugs at the daycare woman's dress, pointing to the swing. When he's on it, he holds the iron hard and kicks his legs and squeals.

 He loves the rush of wind and air. 

The next thing he likes to do is play on the seesaw, Delic is still in the sandbox. But Rubi is only allowed to play on the smaller sets. The woman doesn't like Rubi on the seesaw, but when she's not looking and another kid tells him to sit- grinning and looking a way Rubi still doesn't understand in his way of naivety-

         He climbs on---

                              Going higher- and higher- and  _higher---_

* * *

 

Izaya gets the call before Shizuo does. He's calm, voice soothing and words chipped. The woman over the phone is shaken, words quick and Izaya could feel his own patience slipping. She's rambling, explaining what's happened and then Izaya hangs up just as soon as she spits out the hospital-- and he leans back in his chair. 

   Namie pauses, stares up at Izaya with a raised brow and before she can even ask what was wrong, Izaya stands up and says- "I'm going to go see Shizu-chan." She opens her mouth, but stops when Izaya gives her a smile that sends chills darting up and down her spine. Whatever; she thinks, straightening out,  _I can be with Seiji faster with him gone_.

             Izaya pulls out his phone, humming all to calmly despite the pit of anxiety clawing at him. He needs to get to the hospital, but rather, he should call Shizu-chan first. Otherwise, he stands still. Breathes in deeply, slowly, and then he turns on his phone, typing in his passcode and then-

     "Shizu-chan...Don't hang up."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's shorter because i cannot rewrite ANYTHING I ORIGINALLY WROTE  
>  so i also started rping as shizuo?? to help with this   
> j ust  
>  **lays down and starts writing the next chapter**


	18. Chapter 18

        "He has a concussion," the nurse explains to Shizuo when he's panting. Leg bouncing up and down and his hands are clenched together tightly, nails digging into his skin until it breaks and he's dripping blood onto his pant leg, the pain ignored and his eyes focus on the image of Rubi's skull displayed before him. There's something horrible about knowing he can't do anything to help Rubi, whose on the hospital bed grey and pale; head tilted to the side. He's up, but barely. In and out; but the nurses are watching him carefully and Shizuo is alright with it for the moment. 

                             _Rubi fell from a seesaw._

_Rubi **fell**._

_He's never going back._

Those thoughts repeated, over and over again. 

                                  Izaya calls him first, which, he believes to have helped him from storming down and destroying the daycare. He's never wanted to hurt someone so bad before. But he can't hit little kids, regardless of how angry he is. The one who did put Rubi on the seesaw was there too, having broke his arm- crying and mumbling apologizes over and over again when Shizuo was standing before him, his mother looking sorry but she's huffing, trying to place blame on a  _one year old_ and if it wasn't for the doctor calling his name he would've --

   _would've_ \--

* * *

 

                                "You are the father?" The doctor asks, peering down at a clipboard, his nametag reading  _Takahashi_. Shizuo opens his mouth to blurt out yes; pauses and swallows hard. 

     "No, guardian." There's a flicker of confusion on Takahashi's features, before he tilts his head back and raises both his brows. It's nearly mocking; Shizuo is already on edge and could feel the flare of temper shake his form before the other spoke again, 

                  "You  _are_ Shizuo Heiwajima, correct?" Shizuo nods, slowly and his own brows furrow when Takahashi smiles.

"Shizu-chan!" Izaya chirps, Shizuo nearly jumps. He turns and stares down at Izaya, the informant wraps one arm around the bodyguard's, pressing snug against the bodyguard. He's warm and soft, smells all too good and Shizuo wanted nothing more than to bury his face in the informants hair and lay down. He wanted the day to pass by, not have to worry about his kid laying in the hospital bed. Izaya gives the doctor attention; lips curved into a grin bordering viciousness and joy. "Hello~"

      "Flea, stop talking. He was...telling me something." Shizuo mumbles, trying to shake the raven off. Takahashi waves one hand.

"It's fine, Heiwajima. In any way--"

                   "Shizu-chan please, why don't you try to see Rubi? I spoke with the nurse." Izaya sounds strange, tugging Shizuo's arm and the blond scowls.

"Flea." Shizuo hisses, yanking his arm free. " _Stop_. I'm  **talking** to his doctor."

                 "Shizuo--" Izaya begins, pauses and shuts his mouth. Lips firmly pressed against eachother and Shizuo stills. Stiffens and notices the telltale signs of a  _hurt_ Izaya. An Izaya who knows something, whose  _caught_ in a lie. His bottom lip is bit down when it shakes, a swallow and Izaya looks away. "FIne,  _brute_. I'll go see him. Seems like you don't care about Ruru-chan anyways."

                   "Don't--" Shizuo starts, tone hard and Izaya just steps away, quick and nimble as he moves past towards the room where Rubi laid. Takahashi is silent, expression screaming  _well that was awkward_. Shizuo's shoulders drop. "What were you...saying?" He's tired again, rubbing his eyes and rolling shoulders to ease tension. 

                 "Well, from our information, you are the father, Heiwajima. Now, if you would like to take a blood test to assure..."

* * *

                                               Izaya is still there, on another chair. The nurse is still talking, and when she's done. A chirp of "i'll be back in an hour to check up on him" with her farewell. Shizuo looks at Izaya, leaning on his arms when they unclasp and fall against his legs. Hunched over and blank faced. Izaya is staring back at him, the perfect facade of innocence; of not being hurt-- 

            "Did you know, Izaya?" Shizuo asks. Izaya shrugs, he's swinging one leg and with his arms across his chest; smiling ever so faintly. "I'm not in the  _mood_ , don't play with me. Did you  **know** or not?"

            "Shizu-chan, would it have mattered?"

"Yes!" Shizuo cuts himself short; running a hand through his hair. "Fuck, Flea. How long?"

             Izaya looks away, "she was suppose to just get information from you...But then--"

"Did you kill her?"

                                  There's a laugh, empty and Izaya's head tilts; eyes vibrant and dark. "Shizuo, I could never kill one of my humans. She died from natural causes."

 It's all Shizuo wants to know, when he drops his head and holds out a hand. When Izaya finally places a cool palm into his, the blond yanks him close. Let's Izaya fall against his chest. "Fucking  _idiot_. Stop making those faces. You shouldn't be jealous."

         "I'm not jealous..." Izaya breaths, inhaling the smell of smoke and presses his face closer against the steady heartbeat of Shizuo's. "Protozoan."

                                                                                         Rubi is fine throughout the night.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was talking to my friend about this and like  
>  **[3:15:22 PM] Day: ... what would happen if a baby falls out of a seesaw??**  
>  [3:15:28 PM] Day: probably a concussion yea?  
> [3:15:34 PM] Night: Yeah most likely  
> [3:15:36 PM] Day: maybe a broken....arm?  
> [3:15:39 PM] Day: one year old  
> [3:15:39 PM] Night: Why??  
> [3:15:39 PM]Night: What happened?  
> [3:15:46 PM] Day: IM WRITING FANFICTION  
> [3:15:51 PM] Day: SEE I CAN'T GOOGLE THIS  
> [3:15:56 PM] Day: THEY MAY THINK I WANNA HURT A BABY
> 
> hope you all enjoyed uvu


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  listening to this [is](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQVEVmHRygI&list=PLlxD9-9m0a1WXmombjtseuZFz-Vbm_RfQ) great uvu

      Shizuo tries to remember the woman he's met years ago. He tries to remember the face, and touches and tries to think if he ever gave the woman what she wanted. Izaya tells him not to think about it, to  _stop stop being a beast_ and he knows Izaya gets frustrated, envious and Shizuo ignores it. He wants to think about the woman and when he actually decided to have sex with a normal fragile female. And why she did it, but then he thinks that it's Izaya and some part of him gets angry. Angry enough to want to break Izaya's face, so when he sees the informant he reaches over and shoves a hand through his hair. Izaya stumbles everytime and swats at his hand.

                  _Who was she_ , Shizuo wants to know. When he sees Rubi, he realizes, in a deeper sense, it wasn't for him. ~~A clarification~~. It's for Rubi to know that his mother probably wasn't shitty because she associated with the flea. She was probably a sweet woman, sincere and just dabbling in the underground world because of debts or blackmail. 

  The more he thinks about, the more stressed he becomes. And the sweeter Izaya smells.

* * *

                                            He buries his face in the informants neck, and tries to sleep. Rubi is in the bedroom beside them, sleeping peacefully and for several days Shizuo stays home to make sure Rubi is alright. It's not until Izaya assures him the concussion is long gone, and if there are problems Shinra was still a doctor. Celty has came over once or twice, offered to watch the toddler and shows signs of uncertainty towards the Flea that Shizuo understands is only natural for a man whose caused such turmoil in the city of Ikebukuro.

                     Izaya tangles fingers in his hair and mumurs, "feeling affectionate aren't you shizu-chan?" with a tone of amusement and Shizuo shrugs, lets his fingers dance along the Flea's hips and tug them closer. Izaya hums deeply in the back of his throat, cocks his head backwards and flicks a warm and wet tongue along Shizuo's cheek. Shizuo grunts his disapproval.

                  "What's with that face, brute?" Izaya demands, still combing through unruly, rough blond hair. Shizuo has lifted his head, arms beside the informant and he sighs.

       "You."

"Shizu-chan makes no sense." Izaya whispers, russet eyes focused on honey brown hues that are half lidded. "You know that, ne? Unpredictable brute."

            "You make no sense," Shizuo responds. Lowers his mouth unto Izaya's and for a moment, all the stress and frustration and  _fuck izaya tasted like his least favorite ice cream flavor but still so sweet amongst the bitter_

 Izaya pulls away first, his lips curved into a grin and Shizuo scowls. "We're like a little family, ne?"

              " _Shut the fuck up_." Is all Shizuo says, and then kisses the informant once more. Though-- when he parts, mouth brushing along the flesh beneath him, Shizuo laughs and bites down against the pale skin. "You're the mom, right?" He jokes. Teases and Izaya flinches beneath him.

                _It's like a family_. Shizuo thinks, tugging his shirt over his head as Izaya runs fingers over his skin.  _a fucked up family._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~The end~~
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>    nOT THE END I ASSURE YOU!!
> 
> i am ending this on this note, but don't worry because ONE there is an [IZAYA VERSION](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6590296/chapters/15076174) which is great and will probs have the same amount of chapters, maybe more because this is izaya and that one will be great.
> 
>  
> 
> anyways. this is also the FIRST of the new series i made "family" and i will continue papa!shizuo don't fear.  
> there will be a time where I discuss why izaya is called mama, so don't worry you guys uvu  
> IT WILL COME.  
> thank you for reading my first papa!shizuo fic


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